Mods To Look For In The Future (Part 2)

Mods To Look For In The Future (Part 2)

Description: by Maxx Power & Onyx

Categories: Humor


Mods to look for in the not too infinitely distant future



Mod Name: Cryptforge: Deep Enterprise, the next to last generation

Mod creator: Zholoumchrist, Gene Rodenberry

Comments: After adding in all the monsters from Diablo 1, Baldur's
Gate and Planescape: Torment, Zhoul takes the next logical step.
Cryptforge goes intergalatic! Expect phasers, dilithium crystals and
klingon's on uranus



Mod Name: Eastern Rune Mod

Mod creator: Perfect Cell, Sir_General

Comments: After a hostile take over involving many rubber chickens
and energy ki blasts, PC and S_G join forces for this, the twenty
fourth incarnation of everyone's first-fourth favourite mod. Now the
games graphics, maps, items, coding and the operating system it's
running on can now be changed whilst in game (WARNING: The makers of
Eastern Rune Mod accept no responsibility if your changes cause
spontaneous explosion of your PC and loss of life/limbs)



Mod Name: Zy-El v19.45

Mod Creator: Kato, Sidious, L337, Frankenscence, Maxx Power, sumyunggi, Th3, Faer, Kato Jnr.

Comments: After many changes due to being passed around between
modders, Zy-El now consists of one act with only one map, two monsters,
and a key to kill everything with



Mod Name: Back to Diablo II

Mod Creator: onyx


Comments: After the release of Diablo III, onyx goes retro with an
exact recreation of Diablo II... in Diablo II! (lowest file size ever)

Mod Name: Eight lances

Mod Creator: Foxbat

Comments: The eight lance has entered the game. Diablo's minions
grow stronger, more unique items have been added, along with sets,
runewords and improved skills. O, and a new realm if your interested.



Mod Name: Demon Trip VIII

Mod Creator: Brother Laz

Comments: Ever wanted to play one of those bunnies or chickens in
town? Well nows your chance! (NB: Any resemblance between the bunny in
this mod and the bunny in Monty Python's the Holy Grail is purely
coincidental). New uniques also include the holy hand grenade of
antioch



Mod Name: Dark Alliance preview version 1

Mod creator: kingpin, afj666

Comments: After years of development, Dark Alliance finally finds
its way off kingpin and afj666's respective hard drives (combined by
snazzy fibre optic cables over a length of two thousand miles), and is
released to the public. The preview version includes reworked Act 1
town, 2 new monsters and 1 (ONE) COMPLETELY NEW SKILL! Enjoy!



Mod Name: Cheater's Choice 64

Mod creator: Volf

Comments: The new version of Volf's popular mod Cheater's Choice
has so many new uniques and sets that Yohann's PlugY is not enough to
carry them all. Because of the fan's pressure Yohann starts to work on
a plugin that enables you to login to your webspace from your stash and
upload your items. Yahoo experiences a 13% sales increase soon after
through their 'geocities' accounts.




Mod Name: Nezeramontias: The Second Coming

Mod creator: Acromatic Aria

Comments: Acromatic Aria surprises the fans with this project. It
becomes so popular that users start to argue in the Nezeramontias forum
about who has the most leet equipment and start to organize tournaments
to battle each other to the death. Police all over the world get
reports about massive fights breaking out in the US, most of central
europe and a small rainforest tribe in brazil. The arrested people kept
yelling 'I managed to kill all the monsters in the Gauntlet, you
suXXorz!'. 'Bloody Tuesday' becomes a national day of remembrance, when
everyone runs around hitting animals on the head in the hope of finding
a useful item.



Mod Name: Kingdom of Tenai : The Second Encounter

Mod Creator: Vegabond635

Comments: Miniguns, Pistols, Mechs with rocket launchers, and a guy
in a vest as one of the main characters. Croteam sues, Vegabond goes
into hiding from the IRS, his lack of participation causes an economic
disaster. The world collapses into anarchy. The universe soon collapses
under its own weight, thus causing the big crunch. Everyone blames Maxx
Power.



Mod Name: Shadow Empires: The Shadow Has Risen For The 41st Time

Mod Creator: Joel, Black Heart, Brother Laz

Comments: The fans go mad. Thousands of 90-page 'I love this mod'
threads appear in the Shadow Empires forum. Admins, unable to handle
the problem, chase the Shadow Empires mod out of the Phrozen Keep.
Joel, Black Heart and Brother Laz create a new site, named The Shadow
Keep. The SK grows in size, soon engulfing The Phrozen keep,
diabloii.net, then finally battle.net. A cryogenically frozen man who
has been fitted with computer implants has to stop it single handedly.



Mod Name: The Hordes of Chaos beta 173

Mod Creator: Darque

Comments: Changes from Beta 172: an offset fix in the Goblin Archer
attack animation and a new skill icon for the Zeal skill. A famous
producer has started working on a soap opera named 'The Chaotic Hordes:
To Infinity'. Rumours that the show will feature a huge bodybuilder in
a loincloth with a pony tail and a blonde chick who's hobbies include
marksmanship and javelin throwing are unfounded.




Mod Name: Bloodwars, Inc. Final

Mod Creator: Around 250 modders, including (but not limited to)
Kingpin, onyx, Kato, Char, sumyunggi, Bill Gates, umbugi of the zwazi
tribe of brazil, and '%T$^£%&' of Thega 5 beyond the outer rim of
the galaxy (5 trillion miles away and working on a 56k).

Comments: Early in the development process, the team gives up on
the Diablo II engine and makes their own. Bloodwars breaks off,
becoming its own game indepedant from Diablo II. The team creates a
games company called Bloodworks, Inc., which sells the game, making
millions and becoming one of the leading game companies today. They
then take over Blizzard and Flagship Studios, going on to worki
simultaneuosly on Diablo 6, Warcraft 8, Starcraft 4 and The Lost
Vikings : The Cup of Yygur



Mod Name: d2:elements

Mod Creator: Char

Comments: elements reaches new echelons of lowness. Short swords
now do 0-1 damage, Collosus Blades 1-3. Skill damage differences become
negatiable to the point where monsters begin fighting each other for
entertainment. In response to this, Rahc, Char's evil twin, makes
d2:stnemele



Mod Name: d2:stnemele

Mod Creator: Rahc

Comments: Pure evil in every respect. Shorts swords do 50-1000
damage, Collosus Blades 10000-infinity. Skill damage differences become
so infalable your eyes explode just by looking at them for a
microsecond. Rahc attempts to take over India with little success.



Mod Name: Apocalypse

Mod Creator: Unknown

Comments: This mod has been submitted by an anonymous member of the
Keep in Phrozen Heart's e-mail. No one ever manages to play it, as the
moment you enter in the game, the Dark Wanderer appears next to your
character and explodes, killing you and all the NPCs around. When you
enter again you can walk around the Rogue Encampment, but you're lost
without the NPC's to tell you where to go. Unnamed sources say that
Flavie is still alive and can you give you some information, but it's
still not proved, because nobody could find her. A sequel, 'Where's
Cainy', are rumoured.




Mod Name: Hades Hyper Mega Boss Mod

Mod Creator: Hades

Comments: The only monster you can fight with in the mod is Diablo.
Shortly after releasing this mod, Hades disappeares, making everybody
in the community think he was Diablo himself. Hidden messages in the
mod telling children to sacrifice goats and dance naked in the forest
further aid these rumours



Miscellaneous:



Diablo Cartography: After around twenty thousand, seven hundred and
fourty nine updates, the Cartography finally decides to bite the bullet
and create one giant 'supermap' out of all their files. The 'mod',
coming in at 4 gigabytes, is so large it begins leaking into other
games. One witness, Rhonlore, said : 'I was just fragging this guy in
Counter-Strike when the entrance to Tristram appears. Before I could
move I was in the alternative Arcane Sanctuary surrounded by goatmen.
Needless to say the bomb went off before I could find it'



Infinitum: Due to the lack of unconverted Infinity monsters, the
Infinity team starts converting the Diablo II monsters to new tokens,
just in case somebody needs them.



....'Ah dear lord no!' shouted Jerry as he awoke, sweat still
beading down his brow. His wife, Marjorie, quickly came to his aid.
'What's wrong?' she asked the still shaking form of Jerry. 'It was
horrible' he said in ragged breaths 'I dreamt about this really crappy
old 2d game that everyone played for hours on end, day in day out. And
there were all these people there, who kept twisting and contorting the
game so that more people played it' Jerry took a deep breath to calm
his nerve, while his wife asked 'And what was the game like after they
had had their way with it?' Jerry turned to his wife, a deep darkness
in his eyes and replied...



'It still sucked, though Ancients was OK I guess'

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